Friday, 10 December 2010

AA Domisticity part 2

Domicticity film was the outcome of the summer course workshop in the AA in 2009.
an imaginative reality that lies on the margin of dystopia. the work was done by 15 students who barely knew each other but managed to find a way to communicate and share ideas.

An extreme imaginative scenario occurs as a result of the continual operation of a city's legislation that initially had aimed to protect its urban environment yet in actual fact ends up producing a completely different type of urban environment and co-habitation. As a speculation it is relevant and also the individual local strategies that are proposed (ways of producing food) are imaginative but also practical. The inhabitants actually have a certain level of pragmatism, collectivism and cooperation that paints a very particular view of the city.

AA Domisticity part 1

visualizing women's rights

I wonder why women rights activists, feminists lack feminity themselves!

Spending 4 days it the middle of the desert trying to learn the tactics of visualizing women’s rights with a group of feminists was an eye opener to the stereotypes in the female’s world. Besides learning the tactics and the useful tools to defends humans rights and advocacy campaigns I realized that this is a great chance to observe people’s behavior.

Feminists hate to polish their nails and they take no extra care of their skin or wax their legs. Personally I found this a bit obscene as being a female and calling for gender equality doesn’t actually mean a woman = a man! Not in the literal term at least.

Feminists would do anything not to be associated with a man. Situations raged from the lack of self indulgent in an emotional relation to the opposite kind to the lack of emotional urge to be noticed by the other part and yet substitute it with love from the same gender.

The overall experience was overwhelming an revealing to some extent. A new gender of people was revealed that I might not approve today but willingly defend tomorrow. For now I think it is still undetermined.

Monday, 29 November 2010

so what should you tell someone after a long long period of absence!! ammm

Monday, 30 August 2010

And so on the count down begins..... and thing becoming freaky. Change is not always inviting in this case it needs many preparations and requires more work..


18 :waiting for the contract, waiting for visa, grandma is here, waiting for cards,going to hotel to finish reservations.
.17: Hotel checked, problem accrued need to look for a couch. design for the schedule for the vacation
16:hand flowers.. check white couch, check guest book, work for hussein !!

15... SOMEONE HITS MY CAR! as if i needed this now

14 cards are here.. they look amazing. the hardest point in any trip is the middle point. you either go forward or just quit!

13: got the gold from the gold guy looks good, got the posters, the flower bouquets is set.
wedding wish list set

12: Sometimes life just leads the way and change is the best thing a human being can do
fixed the cards and ready to be delivered,posters waiting to be hanged , a break! for the first time in a month we dine out!Pekin is really good

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Choke Review

One gay writer, 306 pages, 16 women mentioned, 8 sex scenes, more than 2000 rock gathered, full description for a sexahilic destabilized mind, a medicine student who has quite voluntarily for a better purpose, crazy old mum, sympathy towards dying mum, big surprise that someone is not who turned to be, a mysterious paradox at the end, murder, police chase, self indulgence, the importance of being part nf a bigger plan, self destruction and unrelated events that dosen not lead to one practically theme to end with a happily ever after cherry on the top story.

The book was recommended by someone who I respect greatly and found the need to understand his crazy obsession about the writer. Reviewing this book I can say it is everything a story can be merging all plots and unrelated dramatic events to serve the propose of cynical and extreme wittiness. Hatred and detachment of reality for the sake of wasting time and acknowledged persona to be taken as a hardcore matcho man. (yes angriness and hatred might be a little bit sexy and attractive but!!)

one month to go

Status, clothes, house, furniture, life, Passport, martial status even work place and title and at some extent career !
change is always inviting to other changes.. and whatever that stays constant in that loops will always be objectified and obtained as one extracted element that will always ache until it falls in the change cycle. Here i am after months and years of locating and relocating standing at the beginning of the road:not a crossroad because decisions have been made.Nothing is left now except to wait and welcome what ever is going to come with open arms. One more month to go.

Monday, 26 July 2010

Man in my office

so here is thought, in work place at 3:00 daily the office boy comes and takes the garbage from each office. the thing is that am always sweet with those men and i take my own garbage out in order to save the embarrassment for them and just treat them like human beings, with Respect. Every day this man takes my things and he never answers me back when i tell him thank you or god bless you. today the sercet was revealed.(sound of drums beating very very fast) am not a decent woman for him to answer.he answers my collegue (who is vailed) with yes ya a5te(yes my sister) and please and thank you ya a5te! but he never answered me though she is a bit mean to him. !AAHHHHHH! (with mouth wide open and hand closing the mouth revealing a deep voice that reflects a big shock)! yes, apparently this man considers me not of his standards to answer me or i will be the reason he goes to HELL! LIKE i want to go to heaven with this type of men!


Sunday, 4 July 2010

AND we did it

finally after a whole week of anticipation and waiting, and a long day for running in the streets asking strangers to vote for us we DID IT.
my baby sister who never won anything and never been anywhere is going to South Africa to watch the final game! yes the final game:)
If you ever go into a compition and you need as many people as u can gather to vote for you here is the recipe:
1. first couple of days ask your friends and relatives to vote and ask them to share it on thier profiles.
2. look for groups and paste it on the walls of the group
3. in 2 did not get you vote MAKE FAKE ACCOUNT(or you will be blocked by facebook) and send to all the members of the group private messages(yes SPAM)
4. Send to the admins of the groups to make you an admin so u can send those people with high privacy accounts
5. hunt people on the chat and make them vote on the spot
6. send private messages to all yours friends who have not voted yet. if all of them did take ur best friends email and send to all his friends to vote. ask other people to do that to make sure you get the most out of the votes.
7. if all ways fail and still there is a huge gap between you and the guy you can make three teams and go to the streets and ask strangers to vote(or in our case run after strangers to listen to you and vote).


Thursday, 24 June 2010

Monday, 21 June 2010


Life and death is overrated matter and in fact it is more of a selfish matter that concerns the human's inability of being alone.

I have not seen in my grandpa my whole life, am not sure if he knows I do exist in a matter a fact is not sure he cares or he cared. And yesterday he dies and I have no slightest feeling or the will to tell anyone about it. Blood related obligation is supposed to be the strongest bond that abides people to each other many proverbs were based on this conception as to stress the importance of family relation and here I am finding this to be the ultimate misconception humans have ever made! Relations are only who is around you or who you have spent time with. It is more related to memories and even memories are erased by time.

I always wondered how is like to have a dominant male in the family, male presence was kept to the minimal when I was growing up, finding out that I had a grandpa was pretty exciting but finding now that he is not there anymore is a bit (normal!).

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Thursday, 10 June 2010

dear god

ammm.. if u god is the ultimate wisdom and the greatest justice then why don't u give people their right in this life! do u think they want to wait till after life while suffering in agony and hatred till u come to the rescue!
maybe .. just maybe i have n intention to go to the boring heaven! (maybe if i was a man)!

Sunday, 6 June 2010


20: Mary Jan shoes, long pearl head band (cloche)or a flat flowered hat with below the knee dress, quite, full length stocking colors are black and white







30: similarities to the 20s, shallow hats with a band on the side, small leather bag with long strap. Silk hand gloves. More styles of shoes and specially the flat heel(the platform shoe á la Carmen Maranda)or Louis heel shoe, tailored longer dress, white and pale stocking.







40: long dress, nylon swing skirts, colorful makeup, corks and crocodile leather shoes; shoes were more heavy and low heels. Abandoning single sheet of corset and the age of the cantilevered bra!early 40s were the trend for men's wear.










50: ballerina shoes, black and white colored, back to gloves and long figure dresses for women, and pencil skirts leather jackets for men.







60: colorful clothes, miniskirts, mini dresses, kitten heel shoes, bandana for the hair, women went barefoot and many dressed like hippies, nicely combed perfect hair and mostly raised asa pony tail








70: colorful patterns, miniskirts and v nicked dresses, hot pants(extremely short sorts), platform shoes.










80:big shoulders (shoulder pads), suites that were pink, green and blue, saturated colors, accessories and makeup.big hand bags that matched the shoes, tight black pants with long shirts and flat shoes with pointed tips big hair styles.





90 : Grungy Seattle rocker vibes/men wear baggy pants/nude makeup and brownish colors for females. overalls and corduroy trousers and crazy big tshirts,















Let me think about it a bit!

Again! Again!

Nothing! Surprisingly enough fashion had stopped developing. After a decade of different outfits, from tight pants to Charleston to strait ones to short skirts the new decade had stopped producing any new trends or any creative fashions identities or simply any new ideas or artistic self expression.

Since the beginning of time fashion has been a direct income of the current social and political situation, from the dirty pants of the 20s which were affected by the great depression to the 70's fashion that was the color for natural peace movements that was directed by hippies and the feminine dresses of the 50s that came after the horror of the world war and the emerging of mafia and the sexy elegant female figure.

At the end of the 21st century and beginning the 22nd, nothing special has emerged in the fields of art, architecture and the certainly not fashion. The 21st century is too indulged in the rapid change of world movement, too incorporated in the globalization race that artists are so busy with following this hasty development in all aspect of their surrounding that they became too lazy to come up with new creative ideas! Creativeness and uniqueness has melted like cultures in one big pot and identities became hard to identify. Self expression technique varied and getting dressed like a mixture of multiple cultural tree has emerged on the surface like a poor new trend for the lack of any creative one.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010


i was so busy and i have not got the chance to notice my baby blog hitting 1000 user!
it is little bit freaky to realize that people can read my mind and know how i think and what i think about! i guess this is the first of living in the real world and lose my protected bubble! i guess!
Happy 1000 reader my baby blog

Thursday, 27 May 2010


if god was perfect and aspired for perfection
if i was god's creation
then whey
i am not perfect!

Sunday, 16 May 2010

stuipd fish

سمكة غبية غرقت!
The stuipd fish is a joke that i have been saying for 5 years now and it has always made me laugh! this is what i imagine when someone tells me the joke or when i say it! it is one of those jokes that you either love or hate! and i love it:)
ps: some say that this joke was my invention :) am proud of that small stupid fish :)

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Living in my own Lala Land

loss of identity is a major issue that mixed people feel. Being raised in a house with two different cultures can be extremely confusing for both children and their parents.loss of identity , mixed feelings of belonging, confusion are companions they grow up with until it becomes part of their day to day life and the book that they follow to cope in a community of their own. A community that doesn't belong neither to their mum's side or to their father's. You can say they create their own LALA world where feelings of dispare are hidden and all the crazy fights between conscious and unconscious.

Having a Christian Russian mum and a Jordanian Arab dad i believe i am one of those mixes.( i know talk about total confusion of both levels religious and cultural! what a mess)

With the hardship that i had to endure to build my Lala Land that fits with my context and my society even though i refused it at first and all the extra strength i had to put to fit in, i FAILED!
well, not a total one but it is still a failure! in Russia i am considered uncivilized and un-cultured citizen and in Jordan i am considered a foreigner .As a person who tried really hard to blend in and inhale as much culture he can to feel security and belonging again today i failed!

Today i was classified as a Russian during a conversation at work, this time this classification was not based on my physical appearance or my language it was based on me accepting gay people, accepting whatever mistakes my kids will do even if they were extreme as pregnancy and accepting to swim in public! I was excused and given a very good reason to my liberalism! as weired as it seems it did not feel good.Years and years of building the base and the structure to what i call ME, today someone reveled the secret of my personality (of course am being sarcastic).

I did not ask to be understood or even to be respected god forbid, i only asked to be treated as a unique and free citizen of Lala Land and as a free voice away from my own background i dont want to be treated as (bint alajnabieh) or the daughter of the foreign anymore. I refuse to become an outcast again.

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

taeb so , w ba3dain ..........i wonder what will happen next!


Sunday, 2 May 2010

haven't posted anything lately and been extremely busy so i decided posting something tat dates to 2 years ago. digitally painted

Wednesday, 28 April 2010


How is it hard to understand the concept of being, the concept of living and the concept of being alive, how to be instead of think to be! to end the life you are living for the sake of keeping sanity.

Monday, 26 April 2010

getting 25!

finally i hit 25! waw i never thought that i would be here.. 25 was a very long destination point that i never thought it would be reached. i thought i will feel older, smarter and maybe a bit hotter that i am a lady and i will wear makeup and high heels! 2 days ago i hit 25 and i still feel like am 15 ! i wear no makeup , still love my low heel and tennis shoe..
i got
2 scarfs
a braclet
sexy PJ
Tea box and a surprise red box inside
cute tshirt
swimming bag and flip flop
Urban book
sugar pot
and adorable earings and necklace:)and a cake with my name on it:)
:) i think i will love being 25:)

Sunday, 18 April 2010


Reading ....... Brave new world ( trying to finish the trilogy of dystopia)
Loving .....still loving HIM
preparing..... the House, the night, the crazy date
projects...... Project Lorie, Project life IS back...
Hating.... my work my and looking for a job
my mum is here it is good to go home and find a family waiting for u:)

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

logo design

Kids logo for Amman Institute. characters previously designed be Daby Ihsan

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Tuesday, 6 April 2010


1984 by George Orwell

ABOLISH, LOVE,SEX, ART, SCIENCE,FAMILY,HUMAN RELATIONS! And you will end up with a pack of zombie's! Oh good zombies ! the ones who will work for you undlessly!


One of the most influential classic books of all times, 1984 published in 1949 . George Orwell has created his own dystopia based on his political views and his own way of seeing the future. His imaginative world in a country called Oceania which is ruled by a collective oligarchic regime. The party after the revolution has managed to take the rules of totalitarianism into a new depth where everyone is being subjected to a 24 hour surveillance at that point even thoughts were censored and controlled.

Winston smith, an ordinary man who works in the department of truth changing facts and rewriting history as the party pleased, old and ill, believes that there is another way. At one point he meets a young lady named Julia and they start a love affair that they had to hide it away from the thought police.

Of course the story is not about the love affair, from the beginning of the book Orwell establish a bond between the reader and his main character. We sense his feelings and see the new bizarre structure of the society of Oceania through his eyes. His story continues and his relation to Julia gives his personality the power to evolve until it reaches it's climax with his encounter with O'brian who sets a drifting point in the story.

Pushing the envelope, the story reveals little by little the new aspects of the world they live in, Telescreen and hidden microphones, scarce food, abolishing art and science and abandoning all kinds of any human love or affection. Situated in London, the writers home proves that even this country is not immune to such regime. The dark society that the writers describe is closer to our everyday society and predicts a new way of suppression. By controlling the goods and the keeping the surplus value at one level they outer party manage to control the population to produce more and more. The new production

The story is a direct attack on the future of the so called socialist regime and the nig brother resemble Stalin (even in the appearance). Where rules and constructions were put to serve the good and benefit of the higher elite 1% . changing people's way of thinking converting them into walking salves!



Tuesday, 30 March 2010

People Behave!

A list of the things that each mum should teach her son/daughter while she grows up to avoid all the embarrassments in your life

  1. When you greet someone, if it is a girl meeting a girl then please note that one kiss on each cheek means 2 kisses only! Preferably no hugging or any extra emotional or touchy feelings cause it is just weird!
  2. If the greeters were boy greeting a girl. Kneel softly towards her if she approached you then go on and kiss her only once on her cheek and preferably on her left one to avoid any embarrassment that might come from touching the lips because you both missed the right cheek to kiss and ended up kissing the middle part! If a hug is entitled then wait for her to approach you DON'T force her to hug you or kiss you because you will just seem lame!
  3. If the greeting is between two males, if you don't have a secret hand shake then a simple shake will do. Avoid any type of kissing on the cheek or showing extra avoided affection (you would look gay!) if it is necessary a simple hug that involves wrapping only one arm around the other guy's shoulder and nearly touching his upper chest. Please note that the hug should last only for 2 seconds.
  4. If you see an old friend or colleuge. Node your head with a weird smile and if he nodes back then wave your hand. DO NOT approach him from a distance because those moments of him approaching are the most awkward moments on earth. while the person is approaching I bit many thoughts would occur in the other parts head! " amm, what am I supposed to say now! , amm, how ugly she looks now that I broke up with her!, mmmm I bet I will show him now who is the boss! "and at the meeting place the two parts would be talking about amm how are you and how is your work! Aww my work is better that your! Amm am going to the states! ( as if it heaven and I should be jealous that he is going to et the forbidden truth! so to avoid all that! Just follow the rules!


posters done for the New mash up party for Rami abbasi:)

Thursday, 25 March 2010


Once upon a time, long long time ago, in a distant old city lay a weired machine. A machine that looked so peacefull sometimes beautiful and so unique, but everyone in the village knew the true story behind its existence. As harmless and as wiered it looked , its function was beyond bad and evil. Its mesteriouse looks gave the chill to whoever knew the truth. The evil machine was the torture master who made even the incents confess about crimes they have not done or even thought about doing. It came on many levels and in many shapes. one with spikes and one with a hammer while the other has claws and it is called the Claw of the Cat. they were differently done and differently shaped but one thing was in common they all were designed to cause pain!

100 years later, things are not much different. even after all those revolutions and all those human rights bills!

Torture machines still exist! They are nicer, most of them come in blue colors and padded with cut and comfortable sefenge cloth. Tey are all gathered in one nice place and most important people pay money for it! yes believe me they do! they go and subscribe every day to go to this new place they call GYM . They force their arms, legs and stomach to be tortured and to casue more and more untolerable pain, and when the muscle contracts they willingly put more and more weight to cause more and more pain!!!!!!

Wednesday, 24 March 2010


i loved this idea and i thogh i would be adding it :) this is awsome

you can find it on and thank you for sharing it. :) dont you just love how awsome technology can be:)

Tuesday, 23 March 2010


Reading ....... 1984
Loving ..... My baby boy:)
preparing..... the big night :)
projects...... Project Lorie...
Hating.... my house and my car :(
Dear Dear Dear blog I am back :)

Monday, 15 February 2010



Hating or loving this day is a relative matter. dependent on having a significant other or not. it can be the best day of your life .. filled with gifts .. chocolate.. flowers teddy bears and all sort of cute cuddly expensive stuff or you can spend your time crying and calling your friends to ease it up on you. it is a phenomena stronger than christmas or birthday it is the day that every single person celebrates, even if he was single. Couples celebrate it because it is a date to show their love and remember why did they fall in love while singles remember that they are lonely creatures and that they are growing older and they should defeat this hard time by celebrating with their friends and closest family though valentine is exclusively for your other half!
From another point of view, it can a very good economy booster. Yesterday in Amman alone around 1 milion Jd was spent on gifts and flowers, let alone the expensive ( insanely expensive) restaurants. I belive more money was spent yesterday than the money that was spent in Christmas and Eid combined. Happiness to be fallen on singles, couples and business people.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010


Again another black out caused this time by an evil force.... and when i say evil .. OHHHH believe me it is evil and dangerous on the human kind. this evil force comes in the form of a blond fat ugly 40 year old bitch who mistakenly was given some power and decided to pour her sexual deprived on us... well, am glad that this crazy black out is gone though that the cause is not but humans know to compromise and maneuver their ways to sustain their existence.
here i announce by know that this stupid black out is over.

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Living In Amman In the 90s

Amman this crazy city that we call home, A city that deliberately is killing her past and continues to do so every day. World cities live in a collaborative process they build their future on a defined past. The past is celebrated and manifested but a new modern city like Amman prefers to destroy its past and establish a new future somewhere else. Its evolution is purely linear and dependent on external references.

To look at some of the cases where this theory is best places one must look at some of its historical buildings that once were and now they are dust.

First example is ( makha lajamea alarabia) the first and most important café in the city that was destroyed couple of years ago to give place to another building. Another example is the Cinema Gallery . those who lived in the 90s in Amman they remember it to be the only hanging place and the coolest place to be , Showing the latest America movies. Of course Gallery cinema had killed another cinema as well like the urdon cinema and alkhayam but in the later cases the buildings still stand but gallery was destroyed to give place to another gigantic building designed by Khalid nahhas, A renounced architect of this time.

The second example s abdoun mall, this huge building introduced the culture of one shopping center but apparently missed up few things and was not enough to satisfy the eagerness of its occupants. Few years later comes its pierce in the total opposite direction and takes the crowd away leaving this expensive to build sculpture into a deserted island.

Other 90s examples like the Jabal Hussian being the best shopping place until the monstrous swaifieh takes its place, the cute little Haya Center and Filfeleh restaurant that now its glittery shine has vanished, Shuman library that was replaced by invasion of internet in the Jordanian houses.

Along with many examples this process weakens the infrastructure of the city and leaves it falling under its internal exposition. Sustainable development is the key for these major issues. Not only planting trees ( which we don't ) but to reconsider the using of old building instead of demolishing them and creating candy like buildings.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Migrant mother

this is what i call being obsessed by an image....
The image of a worn, weather-beaten woman, a look of desperation on her face, two children leaning on her shoulders, an infant in her lap; has become a photographic icon of the Great Depression in America. The photo was taken in March 1936 at a camp for seasonal agricultural workers 175 miles north of Los Angeles by Dorothea Lange. Lange was working for the Farm Security Administration as part of a team of photographers documenting the impact of federal programs in improving rural conditions.

a boost of ego

logo proposals for Volunteer Europe 2011.. the second one reached the final stage after 2 selection processes.. it was good looking at my humble colored logo competing with some of the biggest designers from all over the world. still waiting for the result sometime in 2010.. keeping my fingers crossed


london thought 2009....

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Etopia Amman

Etopia in Amman .. the name of the workshop conducted by Rusailah Bazlamit as part of the Etopia lecture by Micheal Sorkin in Amman. the purpose of the three hour exercise is to look at amman from a utopian point of view discuss the tangible aspects that requires change. 10 participant from different backgrounds were gathered for a quick 3 hour session to do collages and create a new image for the city.
the following are mine the first one manifests the redesigning the in-between spaces and converting them into more active and safe environment and the second is to convert buildings into paintings and beautiful colors.

Sunday, 3 January 2010

In the Middle of Two years

january is one of those months that i consider a transitional month because personally it represents a space between what was and what is going to be. the middle point between 2009 and 2010 ..

2009 for me was the year of traveling.. unlike other people i enjoyed each bit of it and traveled each month. created anew life style and at the end of it i achieved peace of mind.
here is this year in pictures... so many things!