Monday, 8 August 2011

Ramble 1;

This chapter of my life is called having a crazy flight! Blogging from Korea on the way to my new home! Already spent 12 hours flying, 8hours in transit and still I am half the way through! Looking from thewindiw waiting for my turn to get to the bathroom and then have breakfast at 1:00 ! I know I am just rambling nonsense but I will appreciate documenting this one day!

Monday, 1 August 2011

first day of Ramadan!

Respecting religion,respecting culture, context and society are things involved in mu day to day job in the development field and things i have learnt through the years but now what about my my thoughts and believes to be respected in return? 

So this is the first day of Ramadan and the first day of August! with only four days left for me in the office.... coming today i was drinking coffee in my car while coming to the office. With the glass hidden in the car and me trying to hide the fact that i am inserting something in my mouth i couldn't help but laugh at the contradictions in my society. Where people call for freedom ! Where slogans of well structured and democracy fill the streets! here i am hiding my nonreligious believes for the mere reason of not going to jail. Not fasting is something the Jordanian society does not accept. Not fasting is a felony. For not fasting one will spend the whole month in jail.
while driving to the office today i could not help but feel that  ////// NOT fasting = PUBLIC nudity! ///////////

Thursday, 21 July 2011

I had my first 5 newzilish dollars today!

Fact of the day; newzelish currency cannot be torn. The face Mr. Howard something whom I never heard of or seen before fills the paper with a stupid British smile. As ignorant as it seemed but this distant very far country has nothing in relation to us except the only reliable source of sheep meat that my mother used to buy when we were young “ sheep in newzeland eat grass, sheep in Jordan eat plastic bags!” in a way she made sense for a 10 year old!

I never knew that such a step will come uninvited, sudden and impulsive still we are welcoming it with open arms. 
So going back to the currency at hand; holding it at such a time and being handed from this certain person at this exact moment had the effect of the wakening morning coffee once it hits the brain.

Friendship is just an unpredictable factor in people’s lives; it can be augmented, patronized or even criticized but it is never static and never reasoned. . The fact that people’s relations are over rated had always haunted me until the point where all my relations on the margin of collapsing. All the things that are still not finished, conversations that still to be continued, colors and brushes to be bought and all the canvases that still to be filled with colors will always be on hold until further notice.

This is the first goodbye and I reckon that what will come next will not be easy. I will have to be always thankful for having a partner who shared an addiction to red askimos!

I got to admit having those 5 dollars in my pocket is quite exciting. I will be missing you my friend.  

Sunday, 17 July 2011


So... it is official! the lis is online and we will start selling our furniture along with our memories. The first big step.
My eyes promised that they wont tear when they see the house empty. I hope they will keep their promise.


Deadlines of things i wanted to do and things i wanted to finish for months started piling up. Like a student who leaves his homework unresolved until the dawn of the exam to start studying. As if i was back to collage and my submission is late due to my constant elaborate procrastination.Why do i keep doing this and why do i take time for granted is a question  i need to ask myself repeatedly. Dates lined up like wild fierce numbers falling from the sky. Unfinished paintings, unedited photographs, un-photographed images in my head, unfinished books,  un-digested information and unbounded relations pile and pile and pile until they become a big mountain of screams and insecurities that i am afraid i will carry with me as a baggage of regret. Not allowing to move on or to set priorities in this very tight scheduled of numbers that were done and undone. They pile up above my knee to reach my thighs, cover my hands, reach to my neck, my mouth, my eyes, my head.. Until i suddenly breath!

Tuesday, 12 July 2011


12th of july! Approved. Our application to enter a new life was approved. For  me personally it was if a  jailer sitting on a cloud  has stamped my application with his verdict! APPROVED! still can not comprehend the idea in my head and the digestion of this sentence is quite hard  at the moment. Can not hide the sigh of relief and can not hide the fear and excitement. Too many feelings that contradicts itself and tearing me apart from inside.
This date will mark the start of a new life, in a new place with new people.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Sunday, 24 April 2011

The more things change the more they stay the same!

Dated 2011! 

decided to reread some of the old posts that i once wrote back in the days and i realized that the only constant thing in me is change though the more things change the more they stay the same. 
I was wondering when did my indifference towards human relationships hit rick bottom and i think i have a date now! 
The differences is i used to like Arial before now i am obsessed with Halevtica! 

Dated in 2005 and 2006…. Woooo two years has passed.. two years might actually change you… not really but it might change some minor things in you… something that would be undesired and unwanted some things that we hate .. or simply others hate.. looking back at some pictures that are dated in 2005 I realized that have even changed my own skin.. two different people that don’t belong to each other. Two different souls that in the real would have never met…in the picture two people who are hugging me and we seem really happy.. hmm I wonder…. two people that right now I would not call friends… that was so weird …it is so hard to believe that my best friend and my sister will vanish from my life and all that happened in only one year.. it is like being able to build a whole building out of scratch… after removing the older version its is so hard to believe..… and the hardest of all realizing how easy it would be.. more easy that what our limited small imaginations has given us.. a whole package I changed…a totally different person I ought to be.. new life.. new friends and new freaking environment… to be honest am sitting in a place that I never even dreamt of having that is so beyond of my capability of dreaming… strange strength that comes out of me.. a heart that once was beating now had turned into a stone.. like having no feelings at all.. only running and jumping towards my ultimate skyscraper.. building that high thrown for my self on the last floor.. and looking at people.. we were joking about me and him being Mr. and Mrs. gods. If only he knew how real was that. I am really the goddess of my universe and in my universe every one is my servant. My old friends that once were my soul mates that Ii never imagined I will live without.. .. now on the honor of my new thrown and on the name of my new kingdom I decide to celebrate .. celebrate that new and mean and sick psycho me… I celebrate the new implanted stone/heart I bought myself. I went to the flee market and I decided to indulge my self by buying a new skin to suite with the new stone/heart…. To suite the new goddess..I decided to change my life again

Paint Map- introducing the fence project

Paint Map is a project that combines Art,people, geology and maps. It is a based website that shows the multiple mediums of urban representation for the contextual areas around artist. How their vision of their surrounding is reflected on their canvases. 

The project that started in 2008 shows a similar version to the Google maps but instead of regular pictures that people add they are adding paintings that show the area and the exact place where the painting was done. 

I was so thrilled to see this project as it would a great opportunity to play with my Fence series, which are photos i have taken for fences through my travels. 
Fences represent semi boundaries rather physical than visual. They allow the extension of sight towards an unreachable place and allow the imagination to create actions and play within this place. They define an area that is allowed to be truss passed and manipulated only with a significant amount of effort. 

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Remembering Barbie

OMG she is alive! Barbie is not just a doll! she has a soul! 

Australian model Erika Heynatz touches a 2.1 metre high Barbie doll chocolate mud
 cake to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the world's most popular doll.
The 1,200kg cake covered in gold icing, silk and 2,000 Swarovski crystals
The americanized and well marketed version of the german  Bild lili doll that was also built on a comic strip,Barbie was fist exhibited in the First International Toy Fair in  9th of March 1959. This date is considered the birth of Barbie.The idea for the doll came when Mrs Ruth Huddler watched her daughter play with paper dolls and suggested the idea to her husband who was the owner for Mattel, Inc. at the time. The idea was not appealing to the husband but after a visit to Germany and upon seeing the Bid lili German toy  the story began.

But the older i became i realized what this doll has been marketed to do. Barbie was highly marketed to follow the trends and the cultures of different areas. It became a pop icon in no time not only for the western world but it created a must purchase object on an international scale. The thing here it was never an original product. It was a doll that infiltrated pop culture and manifested itself in different places, the Pilot Barbie, the hot star Barbie, the hippie Barbie, the astronaut Barbie and down to Sarah Palin Barbie! 

In 1992 a new talking Barbie was published with more than 270 phrases such as; I want to go shopping, i want to eat Pizza and math class is tough! promoting an unrealistic image of women, concentration on clothes and pretty blonde hair accompanied by those phrases had made Barbie the ultimate image that presents the proverb- be beautiful and shut up. 

The birth of the  dolls on the 9th of March which is also Women's day is a little bit ironic. The image for the modernized strong women that is celebrated internationally has to share that celebration with Ms Barbie who reflects the image of the stupid, foolish woman or at least this is the vision of Barbie now!

Every thing comes to an end and so the beloved hot Barbie image. Pop culture is standing against this figure that it once created. artists and activists are finding ways to diminished her essence and break the taboos that are revolving around her. Showing this piece as a regular bloated woman who eats, drinks, kills or even farts and i dont mean butterflies farts! 
Right now as a result teenagers are looking at more hip and modern images to follow such as Bratz or other entertainment electronic devices leaving the company to break on the edge. Mettle.Inc are trying to boost the popularity of this ending glory for their beloved doll on her 50th birthday but sadly the cake and the fashion  show did not give the intended results! 

If you want to know more about Barbie and all the gossips that are going on on her life check out this crazy blog!

Monday, 4 April 2011

The boy in the bubble

David Phillip Vetter (September 21, 1971 – February 22, 1984) was a boy from Shenandoah, Texas, United States who suffered from a rare genetic disease now known as severe combined immune deficiency syndrome (SCID). Forced to live in a sterile environment, he became popular with the media as the boy in the plastic bubble.
The boy later becomes the inspiration for many movies and was mentioned n movies and series as an exotic distinguished figure and expectational a superb gamer or extra ordinary loner.Never the less the idea of the poor guy sitting in the small bubble i suppose not understanding how the world around him can be disturbing exquisitely harsh and banal!

SCID is a congenital disorder that causes immune deficiency because the B-lymphocytes and T-lymphocytes in the adaptive immune system are not working. These lymphocytes are usually born in the bone marrow and exist in the body in lymph nodes, where they are essential for fighting bacteria and viruses. The diagnosis SCID is confirmed when babies are around 6 months old, because at that time the antibodies they’ve received from their mothers in fetal life are beginning to go away. By the age of 6 months, these babies are beginning to have lots of weird infections that healthy individuals normally don’t have, such as some specific cancers and infections caused by bacteria in our normal flora.

Monday, 21 March 2011

Facebook. The new monster

It is very hard to imagine that Facebook started in 2003 and went public in 2006. In less than 10 years Facebook which was a small project became a multi billion dollar business. The key to the success of this new young company is the huge data base that it stands on. Over 80 million user are subscribed to this network with more than 550000 active application for people to use.For me this is becoming scary!

Not only facebook is becoming an important factor in people's lives but it is starting to shift it and change it. It drastically changes its appearance and way of interaction and no can reject or object to this dictatorship regime! ( I wonder if after 20 years people will revolt against facebook and will find its place next to Mubarak, Zain alabeden and Gathafi!)

In addition, one's security is bein
g endangered by Facebook. How m
any of you read the contract that agreed upon when you signed into facebook? i reckon no one! The rules clearly says that your information and anything you post on facebook dosenot belong to you and it belong to the other party. This means that if you post a picture and you remove it facebook still has the copy right f
or it.

If you wish to post a comment unanimously, serf the web without being recognized, then forget about it! the concept of unanimity is fading out. Websites previously asked for a sign up before entering or downloading any information now they do not have to.They can access your information through connecting to facebook! The access your account and they ask you to allow them to post on your wall and change your status! Check out slide share and Groovshake!

The hardest part to understand is the directed consumer ship factor. If you are annoyed by the google Ads that come up according to your interest well then you will hate this. Soon enough Ads will be directed specially for you according to the information that you have provided, websites that you surfed and the blogs you comment on. So, if you like porn then be careful. Porn ads will be pouring at you!

Be afraid!! Be very afraid!!

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Friday, 11 March 2011

self resolution

If an allegory can be used to describe the way my life has been, I would choose that of the metamorphosis of a chrysalis into a butterfly—the achievement of maturity through a difficult process of hard struggles. My struggle when I grew up came from my desire to become everything and everyone at once. I wanted to be the medical doctor, the dancer, the artist, the player, the musician, the ballerina and every single occupation I had in mind. Every day proved that this is not applicable and this cannot possibly be- in this life at least.

Since my early age my mom discovered that I had a clear passion for paper, colors and crayons. She thought this can be a starting point in my career as an artist hence she enrolled me in an art school to get my first Art diploma, I was only 17 at the time. This was the first step that I remember that helped shaping my life and gave a definite direction to where I want to be in the future and who I want to become. This has affected every decision that I have made in my life afterwards.

Choosing a subject to study in collage was easy for me. I had the choice of going to Design school or architectural school based on my previous expertise in this zone but due to the fact that my both parents were medical doctors I had to chose the second one because it went under engineering section.

Today, as an Ex-architect who ventured in the fields of design, Art, Film making, shoe design, urban planning, photography, product design, magazine writing, and children illustration I have ended up in the design and media for development field.

The journey was all confusing and vague from the start till now and though the decisions were dependant on external factors and opportunities that came along the way, I now know where I belong and where I will focus all my efforts on.

Getting involved in the development field gave me the chance to intertwine all the issues that I have studied and ventured in, teach them, experiment with them and turn them into ways for conflict resolution and developments tools. During my work I have witnessed with those means have changed underprivileged lost youth who failed in the academic field to express their ideas, their emotions and build up a career out of Art, photography, film making or any related mean. The impact took a long time but the results were definite and concrete. For me to see this change is the ultimate and most satisfying feeling of self worth that drives me to continue and give me strength and power to be able to affect people’s life hence affecting their future.