Tuesday, 13 October 2009


Franz Kafka

Gregor who suddenly over night turns into an insect over night is locked tragically in his new body. The story beautifully reveals his emotional struggle between his new identity as an insect and his old self as a working human being. He desperately refuses his new self and afraid of what he might become. He clings to his human self by clinging to his emotional feelings towards his family. He knew that insects don’t love or hate and they certainly don’t have emotions, for him as long as he gets hold of those these emotions then his transformation is not complete. Throughout the progress of the story lot his behaviors change and so is his family’s reaction to him. They stopped considering him as a brother or a son rather gradually they looked at him in sympathy and disgust until the end of the story when they his being is contradicting with their being.

What legitimizes a human being, is it the memory that he prints in people’s mind, is it the amount of money that they posses and willing to give. their attachment to one another is governed by a thin line that can be cut by time . everyone is replaceable and surely everyone is disposable even if the emotions in hand are pure family emotions. In gregor’s case, he was the money provider for the family and they depended on him hence he was respected. When he lost his ability to be involved in the working field they had to abandon him and look for other sources.

The story magically reveals the feeling of an insect, the way it moves or crawls on the walls, the way it eats or aches, the way it thinks and corresponds to external effects, we see this thorough his feeling of despair and shame of not being able to help his family, his feelings of hurt and deep sorrow and sadness. It should not be read in a biased manner towards him or his family , it is a story of every day happening and everyday life. the disgusting feelings of an insect that might push the reader to vomit while the feelings o f the family and their disgusting means of survivor after the his death is two sides of one coin.

Friday, 9 October 2009

i love :)

1. i love it when you put your fingers on your moustache when you think .
2. i love it when you smile at me when you predict what am going to do or say.
3. i love it when you play your guitar while waiting for me to get ready to leave.
4. i love it when you get so upset and mad when you are nicotine deprived or when you hungry.
5. i love it when you put music just for me and always put jazz followed by nora jones just to make me smile cause u know i love her
6. i love it when you listen to me when i talk about architectural stuff and try to make sense of what i am saying.
7. i love it when you kiss me and then look in my eyes and tell me that you miss me.
8. i love it when you wear nice and tidy shirts even though you hate them just to please me.
9. i love it when you dance with me in the street whenever you hear a nice song being played.
10. i love it when you come home with my favourite gummy bears and my favourite chocolate.
11. i love it when you know my size and know my style in clothes. most of all i love when you go shopping with me and hold the tones of clothes that i chose knowing that i will only buy one.
12. i love when you talk to my sisters and joke with me about me and about my crazy habits.
13. i love it when u allow me to bite you and pinch even tough it hurts you.
14. i love it when you move your head wen you play the guitar.
15. i love it when you make my morning coffee in order to avoid the monster :)
16. i love it when you join me for a cup of tea ..... in the tea pot that i insisted to have and you bought for me willingly :)
17. i love it when you act as if you were reading while you are just making a point and not talking to me and acting mad.
18. i love it when you get upset and mad when am late or when i say something illogical , you have funny expressions when you get upset.
19. i love it when you get worried if i did not answers your emails during the day when we are at work.
20. i love it when you eat with me though you are full cause u know i hate to eat alone.
21. i love it when u trust me while driving and don't freak out whenever a car passes by.
22. i love it when you still love me even if you were waiting for me for an hour.
23. i love it when you get upset and jealous when i get dressed and put on a new shirt when am going to meet Aby's friend ( the ambassador ) :)
24. i love it when you solve all kind of riddles and the answer for all the questions of the world
25. i love it when you start bragging about the things that you know and the dates that you memorise :) saying they are important.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

my tiny tiny

I have a tiny tiny box in my bag that I keep, filled with rosemary roses and sweet memories. Apple seeds with a bit of lemon drips in my box.with beatiful colored edges like a mexican bride,bright red and yellow with drops of green. Rarely I open it now in order not to lose the scent that has been accumulating during the years and is inhabiting the space that is holding most of my memories and my hidden treasures. In this box I used to play hide and seek with my self. Many times I caught myself hiding in the midst of the flowers of that box beyond all the logic and all the numbers that dazzles my little brain. In my box I have hidden so long that I learnt the melodies of the silent notes and I embraced the colors of the rainbow glowing in the sky. I wrinkled the purple papers that for so long occupied my sketchbook and mixed with the roses making them my bed. I stayed so long in my box that now it is time to bury it and open a new one.

Thursday, 1 October 2009

shity mind

woman at point Zero -Nawal sadawi

The book opens up with the internal conflict of the powerful doctor that feels challenged by this prisoner named ferduis that refuse to meet her . her silence left the doctor hopeless and powerless, feeling that she has beaten by a killer who would be dead in few days. The psychological defeat of one man is only attained by silence. But at the end of the book the author/doctor admits that a killer who is true and honest is more powerful and honest than her. a killer who seeks her oneness is more powerful that a neurologist. Sitting on the ground feeling intermediated by the power around ferduis and her existence the doctor she doesn’t feel the coldness of the bare rough concrete. Ferduis slowly unravels graphically her story her emotions and her way of looking at people’s eyes in attempt t o understand them. He life is tragic filled with oppression and rejection by everyone she meets, abused in her childhood and adulthood, practically the story of 50% of women in the middle east.

The story jumps between the temples of fear and hate at one point and hate and anger at another, between black small eyes and the light they reflect as the ferduis address. This is not a story of prostitute thriving for compassion this is a story of a strong powerful woman who seek the freedom of her soul in a society controlled by sexual creatures called men.
At one point in her life she understands the contradicting parts of a relationship and gains control by choosing to be a prostitute. At some parts of the book she tries to blend in the society holding her “respect” with her high school diploma but she fails. When she decides to regain her freedom of choice she gains respect, when she decides to tell the truth in a world full of men’s lies she gets prosecuted and considered as a dangerous woman.

The content is powerful and tackles aspects of social, economical and religious society . taking the reader through a turbulent life with child abuse, child molestation, circumcision, rape, betrayal by people that led to her explosion in a life she struggled to adapt to but she couldn’t.