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i dont how much longer i can take.. i am sorry .. i dont even know why am i sorry for.. things are just getting so messy and there comes a moment when u suddenly lose hope and you become so blank and so helpless... you forget how to feel and how to be.. its just a state of not being and the state of living on the edge not knowing when are you going to fall and if you will fall at all.. it is a state of standing in the vacuum and not knowing if you are sleeping or its your life becoming the endless dream you forget how to wake up from ...